


You Got The Touch

by briarglades



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: (the transformers porn in question is left largely to the imagination; thus the teen rating), Established Relationship, M/M, Peaceful Philanthropy Nights, The Emotional Labor Of Encountering Transformers Porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 17:14:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16022369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/briarglades/pseuds/briarglades
Summary: Snake and Otacon are enjoying a peaceful night in with no one actively trying to murder them when Otacon finds something unexpected on the internet.





	You Got The Touch

**Author's Note:**

> Originally conceived as a tumblr post [here](https://starsinger.tumblr.com/post/170445603513/starsinger-ok-so-because-of-who-i-am-as-a), which is why it's so informal. I wrote this in February when I was just getting into Metal Gear, but I was recently encouraged by SOME PEOPLE (you know who you are) to post it on ao3.

So, because of who I am as a person, I have got some headcanons on Hal "Otaku Convention" Emmerich's hypothetical transformers knowledge. Namely, I think he watched the original show as a Very Small Child in the 80s, got really into it, and just… kept being into it. So he'd be familiar with the G1 cartoon and Beast Wars that came out during his childhood and adolescence for sure, and probably kept up with the Unicron Trilogy while he was earning several advanced degrees and becoming the head of a top secret government engineering project over the span of eight years. I imagine he would be more into the curative side of fandom, getting into forum arguments defending the original Japanese Car Robots anime over the "chopped up American re-release" Robots In Disguise. He'd have _opinions_ on the relative quality of third-party toy companies and which figures they should make next.

Snake, on the other hand, was maybe aware of Transformers, but was a casual fan at most. Maybe he could still hum the theme song and recognize Optimus Prime, but he hadn't watched any of the cartoon in over a decade and it was hardly a priority to do so.

Now. I want you to picture the two of them. A shitty couch, a shitty apartment. The late 00′s. Otacon is hunched over his laptop, but like, a casual hunch. It's a hunch where he's just clicking around randomly, not an intensely focused coding hunch. Snake is laid back, reading something, relaxed and comfortable in this downtime with his partner. The scene is not idyllic; they are not perfectly peaceful; rather, they have found a moment of respite in the chaos and uncertainty that have defined their lives, and truly, is that not more beautiful?

We zoom in. Otacon has been muttering to himself occasionally over the past hour or so: perhaps he disagrees with some poor denizen of some unnamed forum over, say, the chances that the next season of Transformers: Animated will include their favorite minor character from Beast Wars. But now something has changed—now he is _focused_. He’s caught on to something, something he hasn't seen before. Something new, and unexplored, and- "AAAAHH WHAT??? SNAKE!"

Poor Snake jumps, alarmed out of his peaceful reading. He looks up to see Otacon horrified—holding his laptop at arms length as if trying to keep it at bay, yet with gaze transfixed upon its screen. "What the hell, Otacon?"

Otacon ignores this remark, instead grabbing snakes arm and ineffectively trying to haul him over to look at his laptop screen. Snake, although confused and grumpy from being startled, nevertheless acquiesces, scooching over to look over Otacon's shoulder at- "Is that... Optimus Prime?"

"YES!!"

"And he's... getting fucked."

"YES????"

Snake raises his eyebrows and nods contemplatively. "…hnunh… i _see_ ….." he says, not unhornily.

Otacon lets out a small noise of outrage and elbows him weakly. "SNAKE!?!??" he exclaims, shocked and appalled that Snake isn't as shocked and appalled as he is.

"What! ‘Freedom is the right of all sentient beings’, yeah? Surely that includes the freedom to get railed?"

Otacon splutters weakly. "But! They're robots??? Why???"

"Oh are they? Because when I asked why they had emotions, _you_ said they were "Not _actually_ robots, but fully autonomous alien energy beings just _using_ mechanical bodies to interact with each other and the world.’ Did you make that up?"

"You- that's- ugh! Snake!!!"

**Author's Note:**

> And thats the story of the time Otacon discovered you can be horny of transformers!


End file.
